The lefty blogs are up in arms about CNBC something or other--I can't call him a reporter, if that's what he is--ranting about how poor people, losers, as he calls him, fucked everything up.
This doesn't surprise me. Floaters clump.
If there was some way we could nationalize the banks in such a manner that we ensure this little turd of a man gets his condo foreclosed on, I'll go on the internet and vote for it.
Showing posts with label asshat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asshat. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
George Will Got Laid 4 times in 1979,
And has gotten laid, on average, only 2.3 times since then, according to the University of Illinois Arctic Climate Research Center, which predicts that, with the "La Nina" weather event in the Pacific, George Will will only get laid 1.6 times in 2009, including a rather embarrassing moment with a half eaten container of cottage cheese.
Monday, February 16, 2009
El Rushbo
The pill poppin', doctor shoppin', limp dicked, sex touristin', torture lovin', foreigner hatin', anal cyst havin', draft dodgin', confirmed(1) racist(2) Rush Limbaugh is homophobic.
And he is the de facto leader of the Republican party.
Enjoy being losers, assholes.
And he is the de facto leader of the Republican party.
Enjoy being losers, assholes.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Dispatches from stupid sumbitchin tax cheats.
Pathetic.
Inexplicably, the administration has severe anal-cranial impaction.
sigh.
This is going to be a long four-year scrum.
Administration officials were greeted with sarcasm and laughter Monday night when they briefed lawmakers and congressional staff on Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner's new financial-sector bailout project, according to people who were in the room.When Congress of all people laugh at you for mismanagement, you know you done fucked up.
Inexplicably, the administration has severe anal-cranial impaction.
sigh.
This is going to be a long four-year scrum.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thomas Friedman.
Name one thing Thomas Friedman has ever said that is true, or has turned out to be true.
One fucking thing.
I'm not even sure he's done the basic research to know his own surname.
A
nd now he's on the TV telling me all I need to know about the stimulus, and the housing crisis, and what Obama should do, what he shouldn't do, etc.
Seriously, I want that gig. I can make up bullshit and say it convincingly, too. I can even stare at my interviewer and raise my eyebrow, just like him.
Let me be a tool, too! I can be your corporate tool, your industry spokesman, your foreign policy monkey, your war-selling hack! I can bring my own bullshit perspective and wildly inaccurate sense of Zeitgeist to continue the narrative that I am smart and insightful. Fuck! Of course I am capable of knowing everything, I am a columnist for the New York Times! I buck conventional wisdom by using conventional wisdom to sell my conventional ideas--WITHOUT ANY INNATE CONCEPT OF HOW SUCH THINGS WORK! Correlation can imply causation if we really want it to because this is America! I can sell your bullshit with a dramatic flourish of eyebrow gesticulations
and blunt invective against cultures I do not understand! I once had to rent a Lincoln, because they were out of imports at the airport! Americans can still make quality cars! I drove one for 3 days! I know! I wasn't even that embarrassed! I had a kid from the neighborhood program the time on my laserdisc player! Let's see a Nigerian kid do that! America is special and is going to win! 
But we should still give all of our Betamax shit to Nigeria so they can create their own Hollywood, because rich celebrities make regular people want to succeed, and this is how you make Africa prosperous. What part of this sentence do you not understand? Fuck! I peer at you from under my eyebrows so you know I'm serious, and so you know that I know I just won the argument I just decided to have! 
Do you see how easy I make it? Tell me where you want me to go to be wrong about something! I can be wherever you need me--I have an Orvis catalog in the shitter, I am prepared for anything! Let me be your Friedman monkey! Suck. On. This! 
Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! We can use the money from the oil to pay for it all! We can bury the dead Iraqis in a large pit and put something heavy on top, like the corpse of the antiquated Fourth Amendment, and in 6 more months we'll have more oil! 
This is what Americans want! If we give $18 trillion to the banks our crisis is solved in 5-6 months! What we have GOT to figure out is that we. can. not. stop. listening. to. columnists. who. insert. dramatic. pauses. into. sentences. they. wish. to. emphasize. on. TV--or we lose to Islam and variable interest rates!
Oh God damn. I almost began sweating in my mock turtleneck, gripped with fear that someone would be onto my game and call me the fool I am! I was wrong. Thomas Friedman, no one can do what you do, day after day, month after month, half year after half year.
One fucking thing.
I'm not even sure he's done the basic research to know his own surname.
A
nd now he's on the TV telling me all I need to know about the stimulus, and the housing crisis, and what Obama should do, what he shouldn't do, etc.
Seriously, I want that gig. I can make up bullshit and say it convincingly, too. I can even stare at my interviewer and raise my eyebrow, just like him.
Let me be a tool, too! I can be your corporate tool, your industry spokesman, your foreign policy monkey, your war-selling hack! I can bring my own bullshit perspective and wildly inaccurate sense of Zeitgeist to continue the narrative that I am smart and insightful. Fuck! Of course I am capable of knowing everything, I am a columnist for the New York Times! I buck conventional wisdom by using conventional wisdom to sell my conventional ideas--WITHOUT ANY INNATE CONCEPT OF HOW SUCH THINGS WORK! Correlation can imply causation if we really want it to because this is America! I can sell your bullshit with a dramatic flourish of eyebrow gesticulations
and blunt invective against cultures I do not understand! I once had to rent a Lincoln, because they were out of imports at the airport! Americans can still make quality cars! I drove one for 3 days! I know! I wasn't even that embarrassed! I had a kid from the neighborhood program the time on my laserdisc player! Let's see a Nigerian kid do that! America is special and is going to win! 
But we should still give all of our Betamax shit to Nigeria so they can create their own Hollywood, because rich celebrities make regular people want to succeed, and this is how you make Africa prosperous. What part of this sentence do you not understand? Fuck! I peer at you from under my eyebrows so you know I'm serious, and so you know that I know I just won the argument I just decided to have! 
Do you see how easy I make it? Tell me where you want me to go to be wrong about something! I can be wherever you need me--I have an Orvis catalog in the shitter, I am prepared for anything! Let me be your Friedman monkey! Suck. On. This! 
Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! Six more months and victory in Iraq! We can use the money from the oil to pay for it all! We can bury the dead Iraqis in a large pit and put something heavy on top, like the corpse of the antiquated Fourth Amendment, and in 6 more months we'll have more oil! 
This is what Americans want! If we give $18 trillion to the banks our crisis is solved in 5-6 months! What we have GOT to figure out is that we. can. not. stop. listening. to. columnists. who. insert. dramatic. pauses. into. sentences. they. wish. to. emphasize. on. TV--or we lose to Islam and variable interest rates!
Oh God damn. I almost began sweating in my mock turtleneck, gripped with fear that someone would be onto my game and call me the fool I am! I was wrong. Thomas Friedman, no one can do what you do, day after day, month after month, half year after half year.
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